ANGER AND THE CHRISTIAN
by Patricia N. Powell, M.A., LMFT

Let’s face it: We are all born with the capacity for anger. Anger is a God-given emotion and because God is faithful He has given us guidance regarding anger. For instance:
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not easily angered. I Cor. 13:4-5
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Ephesians 4:26
Most of us learned how to view and express anger by watching how this emotion was handled in our families. Some families try to avoid expressing anger. Often this suppressed anger is expressed in ways that are more difficult to label, such as sadness, anxiety, illness, or passive-aggressively as procrastination or stubbornness. Other families allow anger to be expressed overtly and in ways that are harmful to its members. Some families combine these two methods of anger expression.

How do we, as Christians, begin to resolve the dilemma of expressing anger within our personal relationships? First, we must acknowledge that unexpressed anger does not just go away; it accumulates. Second, expressing anger effectively is a learned skill. Yes! You can learn how to do this.

God wants us to learn to express the emotion of anger and as His children our desire is to honor and obey him. With that in mind, here are some suggestions for the healthy expression of anger:
Learn to recognize the lower-level feelings associated with anger such as being annoyed or irritated. Intervening at this level by addressing the issue can keep us from experiencing full-blown anger. Taking the time to self-reflect in this way produces patience and helps us gain access to the "gentle answer" that turns away wrath.
Address these issues as quickly as possible; try not to let the sun go down on your anger. Go to the other person and tell him or her that because your relationship with them is so important, you want to resolve the issue. Expressing anger directly to the other person helps us focus on the relationship and will prevent us from unnecessarily involving others.

And finally in I Peter: 1:13, God tells us: "Prepare your minds for action; be self controlled."
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Patricia N. Powell is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Community Presbyterian Counseling Center and will facilitate the "Harnessing Your Anger For Good" workshop coming in January 2005.