Healing the Wounds of Child Sexual Abuse
by Ginny Mosby, Marriage & Family Therapist Intern

Child Sexual Abuse has been a plague on society for thousands of years. Even the Old Testament of the Bible contains tragic stories of sexual abuse, rape and incest. In 2 Samuel, scriptures tell us that Amnon, the son of David, contrived to get his half-sister, Tamar, alone and have sex with her. 2 Samuel 13:11-12, 14 reads, “When she [Tamar] brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, ‘Come, lie with me, my sister.’ But she answered him, ‘No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing!’ … However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. ”

Even in those ancient days, victims were told to keep the abuse a secret. The story continues in 2 Samuel 13:20. “Then Absalom her brother said to her, ‘Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother, do not take this matter to heart.’ So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom ’s house.”

Interestingly enough, scripture continues to talk about the brothers, the father and the consequences for them, but not much more is said of Tamar. Scripture simply tells us that she remained desolate in her brother’s house; she is locked in the silence, shame, violation and trauma of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her half-brother. Thousands of years later, untold millions of children and adolescents are victims of sexual abuse and carry the wounds of that abuse into their adulthood, living in the same desolate condition as Tamar.

Statistics have revealed that as many as one in four women are sexually abused by the age of fourteen. This reality is almost impossible for me to comprehend. When I sit with a group of women and consider how many in that very room have experienced sexual abuse, it is staggering. More distressing is the fact that many of these women continue, even in our enlightened society, to live in the shame and silence of that childhood trauma.

In sharp contrast to remaining desolate, is Christ’s promise of healing for those who are wounded. Isaiah 61:1,3 beautifully describes the promise of transformation and healing through our Redeemer, Jesus Christ.

“ The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good tiding s to the poor; he has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound… To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord that He may be glorified.”

God is beckoning us, as Covenant Women, to accept his offer for healing, and to walk with one another along that healing journey… out of the darkness and silence, into His light with voices raised in hope and joy.

Many women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse find the idea of thinking about or talking about their past experiences of abuse extremely unpleasant (to put it mildly). The paradox, however, is that the impact of abuse is real whether we purposefully think about it or not. Childhood abuse impacts the way we interact with others and hinders our ability to be in close, connected relationships. While we avoid thinking and talking about the experience, we are, at the same time, suffering from the effects of the experience.

In her book Healing Trauma, Judith Herman writes, “The ordinary response to atrocities is to banish them from consciousness. Certain violations of the social compact are too terrible to utter aloud: this is the meaning of the word unspeakable.” And so by the very nature of childhood abuse, the fact it takes place in secret, the fact that children are told not to speak of it and the reality that our society is loathe to discuss it, leaves us with almost insurmountable obstacles to embarking on a journey of healing.

Healing is not an easy journey, it is hard work. And yet when we choose to walk that journey with Christ, we know before we even take our first step that Christ has already claimed victory. Christ tells us himself, that he desires for us to have abundant life. In John 10:10b he says “I have come that they may have life, and have it more abundantly.”

When we shrink from the reality of what we experience, we in essence accept that thieves have entered in to destroy us. When we face our own woundedness, and accept Christ’s offer of healing, we allow Him to reclaim our lives and we deny Satan the opportunity to use that past experience as a stronghold to cripple us and prevent us from fulfilling God’s purpose in our lives.

Healing requires that we look back at that past experience, from an adult perspective, from a position of empowerment, with a purpose of healing. What greater empowerment can we find than in Paul’s words: “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Phil. 4:13). He will provide you everything you need for your healing: the truth in His Word, comfort from the Holy Spirit and Godly people to encourage and support you along the way.