Preparing Our Kids (and ourselves) for College
By Lisa Lewis, M.A., L.M.F.T

Letting go – how easy that sounds! The transition from high school to college is a much more complex one then we might realize. Starting now, with the beginning of Senior year, we enter the twilight zone of preparing for the letting go. I say we, because as parents of these young adults we are an essential part of this phase, from college applications in the fall to moving into the dorm on the first day. There are many changes about to take place; physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and psychologically. In order for the separation to occur, kids often become difficult to live with (what an ingenious way to make it easy for us to say goodbye!). There may also be heated debate as to what the future holds; the most important thing to remember?...listen to what is being said. This is a very frightening time for some kids and there may be a message underneath the yelling, crying or slamming of the door. This can catch parents by surprise and make the time an extra difficult one if not understood for what it is. As parents, we also have emotional reactions to deal with… get support if you need to, it’s a very normal reaction. It’s a good idea to start talking now about things that are important to your student and your family so that there will be plenty of time for options to be researched and decisions to be made. Do you talk about finding a Christian support group on campus? What kind of expectations do you have for financial responsibility? How often is a phone call expected? There are numerous questions to be discussed and finding time to fit it all in the week before college begins will be difficult! Enjoy this year with your Senior and try to experience letting go of him/her as an enjoyable, natural process rather than an uncomfortable, difficult one.