Ten Communication Tips for Parents of Teens
by David A. Rohrback, M.A., LMFT

Ever wonder why your teen can talk for hours on the phone with their friends, but you’re lucky to get a shrug or at best a one or two word answer? Does it seem like your teenager actually avoids conversations, closes down or withdraws from discussions with you? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Many parents struggle when it comes to communicating with their teens. Teens communicate their own unique way and many simply do not feel up to talking with adults when they either feel outgunned or that the person really doesn’t care anyway.

While working with adolescents in my counseling practice, I’ve often wondered how Jesus would have related to teenagers. Although the Bible doesn’t specifically give us examples, I trust that Jesus would relate to adolescents on their level. I can imagine Him spending time with them; listening and making them feel completely safe, comfortable and worthwhile. Teens will open up and communicate with us if we take the time to really value them and what it is they have to say.

The following list of 10 tips is offered as suggestions for improving your communication with your teenagers… taken from my own experience raising two teenage daughters, from my clinical experience and from Tim Smith’s book, , Almost Cool. *

• Connect first, direct second
• Talk 50% of the time or less
• Speak their language
• Find a relaxed, friendly setting
• Remember their limitations
• Avoid the conversation killers
• Use open-ended questions
• Accept their feelings
• Spend time with your teen
• Relax (Don’t put so much pressure on yourself or your teen)

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* Almost Cool , by Tim Smith is published by Moody Press: ISBN: 0802463916